For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. – Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV)
I decided to move to Kansas and left at the end of February. I didn’t know how hard it would be for me, spiritually. Not one thought crossed my mind because I didn’t know. In my head, I had a plan to read my Bible, pray as I would at home and find a church. I wish I could say that I did those things but I didn’t. One thing I did know was that God was with me every step of the way. Though I was down in my walk, I let myself fail and I didn’t like it. I could have fun and laugh but at the end of the day, I wasn’t keeping my mind in God’s word or praying as I should.
When I came back, I didn’t want anyone to know I moved back. I felt like I have failed, failed at doing something. When I told some people, some of them said “why did you move back, I would’ve stayed.” It’s easier said than done. My view is a lot different than people who think of themselves “not Christian’s”. I was happy I left but I wasn’t happy how it ended – I wish it ended on good terms. Some people will never see eye to eye with me and that’s okay because I just pray that God will show and let them understand. I know I shouldn’t let people get to me, I’m here to please no one but try to be obedient to God. And oh man! Did the devil throw many things and people and their negative comments. If you know me well enough, you’d know how much I dislike drama and I have nothing against anyone but it wasn’t hard to overcome those obstacles but with the help of God. At times, I let the comments get to me but what good does it do to let it?
• Sometimes I don’t get why we as human beings fight with each other, call out another, sit behind a computer or phone and say things we couldn’t say face to face? I don’t get it. I guess over the years I’ve been fed up with people like that, I learned that fighting with someone doesn’t answer anything. When I first began to feel that feeling of not having anything to do with drama, people would tell me “you’re just going to let people run over you.” That wasn’t my intentions. I just have no interest in drama or fighting with other people. One thought runs in my head everyday, if I was arguing with someone and I said something negative about them and what if one day they passed away, do I want to feel that regret? Is it worth it to go to hell for? No. What if Jesus Christ came back and I wouldn’t make the rapture because I was arguing with this person. That’s where my motto I found comes in: “TREAT OTHERS THE WAY GOD TREATS YOU.”
What I’m saying is, God will allow us to go to a certain point without Him and once it becomes too far, He stops and brings us back to where we need to be. Yes, I was having MAJOR fun but it was fun for the flesh not God. No matter how many people will come in the way, there is NO ONE that can come between our relationship with God, not even family. It may seem like I’ve lost a special person but that feeling of hurt will soon pass and God will make it right at the right time. My walk with God is too important.
With that being said, I feel the need to write this, my decision to come back home and back to church shouldn’t affect anyone. I am getting tired and annoyed by those who criticize my decision on where I choose to worship God at, we all are different, I’m not a person to bash against others’ choices but don’t come to me with negative thoughts about my decisions.